On this little gem of a page, you can find my "reviews" for movies! As far as the reviews go, expect me to give the movie a fair go regardless of if it's an adaptation or original idea - although if I am familiar with the source, you can expect me to chime i on that as well. I've also provided amazon links at the end of each review, so if you see a movie you want to pick up you can provide a kickback to help the site keep trucking.
Search for genres (horror, sci fi) using this button.
View the Title List by clicking the clapper image to see movies by title (assuming its been reviewed). If you know a specific movie, use the search bar to speed things up. You can also click on a MPAA Rating bar to bring up a selection of 20 movies from my comrade TPBM and I each of that Rating. I'm looking into getting the limit to be expanded by my provider though, so don't stress too much, okay?
Comedy night! Get your rose tinted glasses out of their keepsake bag, tonight we are gonna drop back a bit in time to one of those comedies whose sole existence is really to make fun of other movies. and all the tropes and stereotypes in them, while fitting in that sort of thing itself. You might argue if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all - and honestly you probably aren’t really wrong - but we have fun being redundant anyways! It was right around when such wonderful flicks like Top Gun were all the rage, but don’t call it Shirley -tonight we sit back in our takeoff positions for Hot Shots!
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I may have mentioned it at some point, but I’ve been watching a lot of a “tv” show that follows a character from some Detective Dee movies I watched a while back and really enjoyed. You can actually find those reviews on here somewhere, if memory serves me right. Well, anyways, what that means for tonight is I’ve been on a big Chinese action kick, so when I see something talking about a sword fighter who can’t see in the title, obviously I’m going to pick it to watch. So low and behold, here we are! We’ve heard plenty of a blind Japanese swordsman, but tonight we swim over to China to check out Eye for an Eye.
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Chase movies are always fun, but not always in cars. There’s something about a movie taking you on an entire trip across it’s span (even if it’s not trying to be a one cut thing) that has a charm. It’s enticing right? Is the person going to make it? What challenges will they face across the path? Well, tonight we’ll take a peak at how Germany does one thanks to our paid for friend Netflix - he’s in a race against time, and that time is Sixty Minutes.
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L:et us pivot from comedy to horror comedy. I’ll soften the blow by making it holiday themed for you - even if that holiday has already gone long by because it’s Christmas, but you know. Either way, what it comes down to is I saw a headline that compared it to Gremlins, and I really enjoyed that movie so why wouldn’t I give this a shot right? Tonight we tune into an American family in Norway, better sleep with your light on because There’s Something in the Barn.
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Keeping everyone on their toes this year, I’ve got a comedy movie for everyone tonight. In fairness, this is a request that’s been getting put off for a while as moods or majority votes go elsewhere, but tonight we finally got around to it! What happens when you take the story a comedian tells as part of his act and make a movie around it? Well, you get this movie and a very easy out for selecting the title. Tonight, we check out The Machine.
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You ever watch a movie and wonder why you haven’t really heard more about it? Perhaps you’ve found yourself looking at a movie and going “they can’t make a movie like that anymore.” I’ve been known to watch a movie simply because the box art, or in some instances even just because an actor I recognize or like is in it. I’ve also been know to look at a title and just watch whatever absolute filth they just threw at me on a shoe string budget as a passion project - so my ways aren’t always without their repercussions. Well, tonight’s movie is one of my adventures in finding movies with Micheal Jai White in them because my cousin loves his movies - and that’s good enough for me. Grab your chaps and a can of beans, tonight’s honey soaked biscuit takes out out to the wild west to see some adventures of Outlaw Johnny Black.
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Here to dig up the occasional movie from the past, I return with yet another fun one that people younger than me haven’t always seen and it never fails to somehow surprise me. Like, I don’t know why it comes as a shocker that someone hasn’t necessarily watched a movie older than they are, but here we are anyways. Diverting a bit from rounding out the unseen movies list that people have recommended and returning to terrain I’ve previously tread without a website, let’s see if this one holds up as well as we want it to. Tonight, we watch some folks make a grave mistake -this is The Crow.
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Working my way through my backlog list, one step at a time - this time with the intelligence to do it while it’s on a streaming service I already pay for so I don’t have to buy it separate to do a review! I’ve already seen a good bit of different scenes of this one, mostly on account of blowing up all that effects work - so despite some mild worries about the movie being preachy, I’m sold to have a good time at least in one department. Could be another situation of preaching to the choir this time - but the only way to find out is to watch. Plug in and make sure you aren’t set to standby, tonight we watch The Creator.
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Tonight’s movie is a stand in because some plans changed - but it is one that’s been on my list since i saw the trailer. Charming, I would call the animation - and that’s really all it takes to sell me on a movie sometimes. A family flick that promises some classic family flick stuff with a nice art style isn’t exactly the rarest of movies - but that doesn’t mean it’s automatically bad or not worth watching, so let’s settle in and see what this bedtime story has to tell us about - tonight we watch Orion and the Dark.
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Time for a flight of fantasy - well, at least a back with knights kind of movie. Technically - if the movie doesn’t lie to us, wherein there is no real rules about, this is based on a true story of one armored mercenary whose a bit of a legend in his parts. Arms, armor, and plenty of cuts and concussions, travel back to a time when everything wasn’t great and awesome, and to be a peasant was to have everything try to abuse you. Embark on a movie that for a guy who loves knights as much as me will ironically always spell wrong on the first try: tonight we watch Medieval.
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I had some choices, but tonight we get the newest of those choices. I’m easily sold by trailers - if it looks like something I’ll enjoy, it normally is. Sometimes a trailer will get you with the old switcheroo, pitching one thing and actually having a movie that delivers something else. Tonight’s flick though? Nah. This thing is honest as honest can be. Get ready to protect the hive, tonight we watch The Beekeeper.
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My cousin loves Michael Jai white movies, so I found him one for his birthday. The pitch? Looks like a zombie movie, sounds like a spec ops budget-Umbrella Corp movie, and stars a dude that’s absolutely baller at doing fight scenes. How could you not think of it all and go “nah, I don’t want to see this at all.” Try and figure out what Tubi is, tonight is Dead Zone.
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Remember when I did that other mech movie earlier in the year? Well, I found another one that I thought I had done and didn’t do yet, so everyone gets to win! It’s older and it might just hold up better than I thought - and it’s got plenty of not CG for the folks who hate computers! Settle in to your cockpits and prep to crash and burn, tonight is Robot Jox.
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Time to finish the trilogy. End the fight. Witness the finale. Some other way of saying it’s the third movie of the series and we finally got to the point where we are going to watch it. He’s back, he’s still in his ways, and we are all totally down for the ride. Hope the rift Lyft picks you up - tonight is The Equalizer 3.
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Picking up where we kind of left of forever ago so that we can check out something newer next week, we’ll jump right into a movie that I’m pretty sure every person watching tonight has watched already. To be real, movies have started blending together for me and making it hard to remember just what I have and haven’t watched until I’ve gotten a chunk of the way in. This isn’t the first time it’s happened either - Netflix once changed the “box art” to a movie whose description and name I didn’t remember until I got about 10 minutes in and remembered exactly what was going to happen because I had seen it before. This one - pretty much the same thing really, but we started it and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t bad - so let’s balance those scales with The Equalizer 2.
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In the recent years I keep assigning some theme to the charity streams I do. This year, I decided to do mechs, because I love giant robots like everyone else does - but I ran into a bit of a problem with having already done most the movies that immediately come into mind. And thus, I delved back - way back, like DVD back and the early 2000s - to find something to watch from my collection. I came up with two choices, one more fantasy than the other, and then pitched them both to my watch-mates, who opted for the more 3D animated one. Learn to love your robot boyfriend, tonight we watch Appleseed.
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And it comes to this - the final review of 2023. There’s really an endless number of movies I could go after to do, but I was excitedly waiting for the one I’ve opted to go for to come out, and decided that that’s what we’ll do. There’s been a bunch of reviews for it all over the place, and a bunch of them aren’t exactly positive - so one has to wonder is it a case of a director just not getting a break from an audience, is it actually not all that good, or perhaps is it just a bunch of people not appreciating what’s there? Much like the transition to a new year, there’s a lot of tumultuous waters of uncertainty clogging the view - so the best way is to find out directly and experience it ourselves. Tonight, we look at the first part of Rebel Moon.
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I don’t like the cold, because it’s cold. I’m far more a hot weather person, so surrounded out there by snow, I can’t help but think of somewhere warmer, and it just so happens I have a movie that set somewhere a bit warmer. Not only is it warmer, but it’s also got two actors I enjoy watching in all manner of movies - both Nicolas Cage and Ron Pearlman. Heck, it’s even got a little Ernie Hudson in there! Tonight we hit the tropics, it’s time for The Retirement Plan.
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I’ve been left to my own devices again this week, so I’ve opted to touch back on something more upbeat without being festive. Look, I gave everyone a month of holiday-themed movies the one year, you can’t expect me to dish out countless Christmas cheer movies every year, it’d be bad for my health! All that merriment goes straight to my guts and then they get vocal and it’s a bad time for everyone! So we’ll keep the colors and stick with something I’ve got a history with - tonight we et animated and check out how that newer take from 2023 holds up with The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
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