In space, everyone can read your opinions.
There’s no time for mercy.
It’s getting close to the season of loving, and instead of doing something logical like a rom-com or something like that I’m doing what I do best - unrelated fun! Beating out rival choices, and even movies of a very similar design - tonight we head on over to Japan for some filthy western action. Tonight, we get to thank John Wick once again for causing so many fun genre spins as we say hello to Kate.
Read MoreThis is a story of bloodshed, a story of revenge.
As I pondered what to watch for tonight’s movie, I had a momentary stroke of utter genius. My cousin, whose been joining me for these frequent movie viewings as of late and doing a stellar job of picking out some good stuff to watch within the constraints of “I can’t have already done a write up on it” has done other things with me besides just watching movies, the most note-worthy I would think is our playthrough of Resident Evil 6 - a game that has long been on the “I should have played it and never did” list for me. So it went up on sale, and we have had some jolly good co-op times playing it. Of note, it’s interesting in the dynamic of what is probably my favorite character - Leon - having a chapter as well as his favorite - Chris. So, back to the tie in as to what we are watching, I thought I would give him one heck of a what-it-could-be Resident Evil movie by going not to the Anderson series that could care less about it’s source, but instead to the ones right out of Capcom. Tonight, we look at Resident Evil: Vendetta.
Read MoreThis will be my third time watching tonight’s movie. That’s not bad at all considering how it released last year. I feel like stating that is sort of tipping my hand - I mean, how often do you repeat-view something that you hate? Well, Be that as it may, you still probably want to know all the gritty bone-breaking details, so lets get right to fight itme and do your best imitation screams, it’s time for Mortal Kombat.
Read MoreIt’s a brand new year, and a brand new everything - if you are one of those folks that feel like a new number makes things somehow entirely different in the universe for some reason. Here in my world, I like to bring in something I like to start of the year - of course, the non-repeats of the review format really hurts my normal desire - which is usually to rewatch the same movies repeatedly - but the good part is we get to do something new that’s also old to bring in the new year - old Arnold movie I’ve watched numerous times, and yet much like most the movies from last year somehow didn’t already do a review on here at all. Oh well, strap on your love of one-liners and oil up those muscles, tonight we visit Commando.
Read MoreOver the years it’s been pretty obvious that I’m not a big Christmas movie kind of person. At the very least, my string of “Holiday-adjacent” movies stands out as making that point for me - but I’ve got that secret first-hand knowledge of what I’m thinking so maybe it’s not as externally apparent. There’s something about the particular breed of cheer from holiday-centric movies that just tends to make me loose a bit of interest, but for today’s movie I think we’ll throw down some spirit with a pair of good tidings - one of the greatest action stars of all time and my favorite comedian of all time, teaming up to not team up and make a movie about the Christmas that almost wasn’t. Get your reindeer drunk, tonight we Jingle All the Way.
Read MoreYou might think this review is an odd choice - but hey, nothing should see odd at this point with the wide breadth of stuff I end up watching. We’ve got some action, we’ve got some babes, we’ve got some young’n Diesel and a soundtrack that you’ll reminisce about if your old enough. I apologize to all the people running we searches now, tonight’s movie is xXx.
Read MoreBy the time this review comes out, I’ll be somewhere else catching a little R and R away from the snow and cold. Considering where this vacation is taking place, I’ve opted to go with a somewhat-fitting movie - less so for anything to do with the movie and more with whose behind it. Might as well leave a little magic behind when visiting the “most magical place on earth” am I right? Tonight, we find out why dragons are all the rage with Raya and the Last Dragon.
Read MoreLet’s get some magic up in this house. I’m taking off or a little break from the state and going somewhere magical, so it only makes sense to prep it with magic that’s more my speed - yeah, that’s right, swords and sorcery style hombre! This is one that I just haven’t gotten around to - maybe it was the advertising, maybe i was just being slow and lazy - never can tell.Tell you what, we’ll fix that right up tonight in a hurry - dust off your old Arthurian books, this time we take a break neck check with King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.
Read MoreIt’s the day to celebrate all those soldiers who did what they had to do so we can do what we do - and of the lineup that I had, it was decided to spice things up without getting too spicy. Yep, that’s right, I found a movie that could service as commentary, action, spectacle, and do it all whilst serving as a way to salute three separate generations of vets like some sort of perfect storm. Take the old man out to dinner and thank a soldier, tonight we look at The Tomorrow War.
Read MoreEver notice how some of the best video game movies are the ones about video games but not about video games? Yeah, we’ve had some real bang-up entries into the genre with some of the Mortal Kombat movies, and some other ones that are rather hotly debated as to if they are good or not. Well, this time we get a bit more meta and figure out if maybe this time the movie gets it? Is it another movie about hapless nerds destined to be forever-loners? Maybe the nerdy kids having to band together and find their inner greatness? Grab that blue shirt, it’s time to Free Guy.
Read MoreSo, surprisingly or not I found another movie that I thought I would have done, but in fact through all my checking I have not done. October is around the bend, so I’m still holding off on doing horror this week - but I did find a tale with magic, monsters, and what’s honestly probably a horrible take on another culture that we really didn’t care as much about back in the 80’s because everyone was having too much fun with the beats and the styles. Apologize to your Shirpa friends in advance and get ready for a classic Murphy drive, tonight we rescue The Golden Child.
Read MoreIt’s time to get real - October is just around the bend, and if you know me you know that means I’ll have a legitimate excuse to do nothing but horror movies regardless of how garbage or great they are - so I’m purposely avoiding doing them for the next two entries of “the weekly movie” to give people a breather in advance. I’ve also felt like I’ve been just bludgeoning people over the head with action movies as of late - so I’m aiming for something different. I had thought originally about trying to tie in to the release of Star Wars: VIsions - which unfortunately came out as a serial show as opposed to the “I now have an excuse to talk about it on the movie reviews” anthology format like Halo, Batman, or even The Matrix did when they did the same thing. So what I settled on is a story of a kid looking for a mythical figure where he’s shown holding a samurai sword on the box art, because seems pretty gnarly to me. Don’t think it’s the boy, tonight we look at The Water Man.
Read MoreHey, you know who was my favorite GI Joe character back in the day? If you said Tunnel Rat, you were wrong. Obviously, you’ve seen the title so you know the real lead up here is me saying Snake Eyes - and you’d be right to think that! Sweet ninja guy with a cool mask, machine pistols and a katana with a romance of some hot action-hero lady? What more could any kiddo want? Well, they made a movie that’s supposed to serve as his origin story based on the GI JOE movie franchise, which escapes me as to why, but I’ll watch the crap out of it anyways, so take a vow of silence, it’s time for Snake Eyes.
Read MoreSaid I wanted to do it, so this week we get to do it. Sure, I was excited by the visuals of that live action Monster Hunter movie - but much like the same director’s Resident Evil series it quickly felt not like the game. That made me a little sad, but the costumes and the effects work had me happy at least. Now though, Netflix drops a movie that’s just an hour long, and looks to be about on par with the games in looks - but will it be a better adaptation then just inserting some throwaway soldiers into a movie where they arguably don’t belong? Let’s find out my opinions, it’s time to watch Monster Hunter: Legends of the Guild.
Read MoreLet’s stick with some action and add in some comedy. We go from a space-based budget to a comic-based modern “budget” A-team. This easily ties into the group of “haven’t I done this before” that seems to crop up ever so often this year, so it feels like a return to all around enjoyment! Well, I suppose enjoyment is a subjective term in this instance, but let’s find out if with the selection of tonight we find ourselves the winners or The Losers.
Read MoreGuess what’s short and has a horrible critic rating? Tonight’s movie! Yay, lets get some fart-fests in this bean-filled world of movies! I mean, I’ve been watching some pretty good to mediocre movies for a while, so it almost feels like I’ve been avoiding them instead of getting lucky, so maybe we can fix that. Now, don’t get me wrong - it can be bad as long as it’s enjoyable and I’ll be fine with it - but when you’ve got a failing by school grade rating from the common folk and a less than four percent critical rating, I expect I might hit issues. Either way, strap in and see how bad it is, tonight is Cosmic Sin.
Read MoreI’ve had this on the radar for a while, but in typical fashion I end up going every which way but loose and it takes me far longer to actually sit down and watch it then it probably should have. The initial trailer sold me on the movie pretty quick - Jackie Chan and a old Brit looking Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I don’t care what it’s about or who else is in it, if they had a budget or if I need to read it - I’m in. Whatever you do, mask yourself from the review score, tonight we check out - and I’m going to be real, the other countries have a way cooler title with Mystery of the Dragon Seal, but what I have to work with is - Iron Mask.
Read MoreSummer is here, and the heat’s come with it. It’s a bit early to be the 36 year anniversary mark, but I got to thinking about swimming pools the other day. Ask someone from my generation about swimming pools, and they’ll tell you about pools aren’t safe from impossibly large sharks. That’s right, another “how has he not done this” review, one that nobody even needs to read or hear because I don’t think there’s a person whose not seen it or heard of it. There’s blood in the water so you better scream shark! Tonight we look at Jaws.
Read MoreMany across the lands are celebrating as they get closer and closer to a return to normalcy after their routines were abruptly changed by a sudden pandemic. It’s a happy time for most - and yet here I am, trying to summon forth the ability to continue working via remote at my job to save money by rolling the dice - or rather plugging in the game. We were here once, it’s time to go back. Doesn’t matter if we end up the fat guy, the short guy, the karate gal or the one who smoulders - tonight drop-in co-op is back on the menu. Tonight, we’re player number one in Jumanji: The Next Level.
Read MoreWith all the stars in space, one could really wonder what’s out there when there’s so much possibility in even our small little community of constellations. Travel through space has been a bit of a restrictive element though - between travel speeds, building costs, and just general human knowledge - so you can’t help but have imaginations run wild with what-ifs and how-abouts. What if teleportation was a thing? What if you could hop on some galactic light-way that would zip you about faster than light? What if you could just transfer your mind from one shell to another? If such technology did exist, who would make or how did they do it? Well, in tonight’s example, we delve a bit into some ancient aliens - tonight, we slip through the Stargate.
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