If you remember Tales from the Crypt, your a cool cat in my book. If you own it, then my hat's off to you and you have a brother in arms. As awesome as the show was, it never really had a very large movie scene - Two, with a third that mysteriously disappeared and I've never been able to find if it even does exist. Now, there's some stuff we kind of expect from the Crypt - but will the movie betray all that to patter to a larger crowd and draw everyone in? Will it be a cemetery that everyone is dying to get into, or simply just a bad joke?
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I find myself watching found footage movies as though one of these days the perfect one is going to happen around, and the entire world will realize how awesome they could be if done right. It's theoretically not something that should be that hard to do - and if anything building tension should be easier than through normal means, since it adds to the effect that the viewer is there (theoretically). It never seems to happen though, it always seems to somewhere go so terribly wrong - from either holding onto it's suspense for way too long, or pacing that's so dull you would rather go to sleep. Can this movie dig up some fun, or will it be destined to make your bones ache?
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What's the most generic thing associated with ghosts? Give you a hint - beyond "haunting" it's most likely the title of this movie. Now, something like this could go great - could go horribly, horribly wrong as well. I mean, what better excuse to have some other-worldly activity that a board of letters that functions by most accounts as a ungodly portal into that which shouldn't be tampered with? What foul demons and lovable Caspers will be summoned from somebody's generically naive actions? Will the movie game with your emotions, or would you rather see it burnt for the horrible time you had viewing it?
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How many times now have we seen the story of Dracula? If I wanted to pan further, I could say 'how many times have we seen the story of the vampire?" And no, I don't mean that badly written worse filmed absent-minded Twilight series. If I wanted to induce vomiting, I would talk about the soundtrack to Nosferatu, which is at least a respectable movie. Back on topic though - we've seen it a lot. Most of us would probably agree at this point that the best rendition of Dracula is probably the Bram Stoker's variant, but Bella did have himself one mean stare. Well, a new age, a new generation, a new attempt at trying to bring back the old monster movies that I really can't be too mad about because I like the old monster movies. Should Dracula have staid untold, or will the movie nipping at your neck have you all hot and bothered?
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Remember that silent guy named Bob? If you do, then you probably already know all about him making movies and being in shows and the likes. This weird little tale comes straight from him - and if you follow his podcast you will most likely get more out of this than those who blindly waddle their way into it, but that's not to say that it's necessarily bad right? Inside jokes are all over movies these days (I'm looking at you, comic movies), so that shouldn't hold anyone back. Will this walrus of a tale get you hooked, or will it be more of a sinker?
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Why do I keep watching found footage movies? I can only imagine that somewhere inside me I still believe that their is this completely untapped potential that each movie of the type I watch might be the one to be the Highlander or one ring to rule them all. Well, I can't say it's particularly a great hope to hold onto, but As Above walks calmly into the circle and throws off it's gloves to try and impress. Can this foray into the french underground prove to come out on top, or way below any expectations?
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There are tons of weird movies out there. Some of those weird movies are only weird due to a cultural disconnect, some due to how they incorporate different genres into them. Sometimes you hit one of those weird movies and it carries with is such a weirdness that you end up spreading it amongst your friends, as though it was some contextual contagion spread through word of mouth in order to survive like you just watched the tape from The Ring. This movie is one of those movies - it's out there, quite possibly the most nonsensical film I have ever watched. Will it be a flick that you pass on for no reason, or will you find yourself tired of it?
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If you happen to be like me, you've probably heard of The Exorcist for years as it's landed on top 10 lists and genre-definer lists and the likes. Well, if you are also like me, you won't ever get around seeing it until 20 some-odd years after you start hearing about it - but never mind that, it's here now and it was watched. Not just any version though, we went nuts with the Extended Directors cut version, clocking in at roughly two hours. Seems short by today's standards, but let's get into seeing if this movie could live up to the enormous amount of hype built up by the years of time taken to watch it. Will we exercise by running in fear, or will we instead try to banish the ghost of the film from our mind?
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Stephen King, the literary master of horror. Although I have been told that King's books are quite the reads, I've never really been big into the horror-book scene (which could be strange considering my penchant for VHD and Predator novels) and to this day have never actually gotten around to reading any - I've been more than content with the film adaptations. I say adaptations lightly, because I know there's those hardcore reader fans who would tell me that these things are barely half-hearted attempts at creating something that was amazing on page - which I do suppose must be true to some extent, as the track record of "Stephen King" movies (most of which he isn't really associated with, outside of Maximum Overdrive, as far as I can tell) isn't exactly spurring one to believe he's any more a master of the dark ends of human psychology than a saturday morning cartoon. Well, let's put a literary twist on cemetery and see if this flick can be brought back from the grave, or if it should have just been left there.
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The title scroll did more for my interesting in this movie than most title scrolls can claim to try and do. Sam Neill from Jurassic Park (and numerous other things), combined with one of my usually-enjoyed directors John Carpenter, all wrapped in a rolling rock song? Call my interest spiked, right? That being said, I hear before hand that this is one of the best Lovecraftian movies around, and although I'm not a huge Lovecraft fan myself, I know enough about it (him) from hearsay to figure it could make for a great movie if it comes off well done. So then, let's find out if it's gonna make you lose your mind or mouth your distaste.
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Get ready to travel into cinema's past again with me! Come now, it's a fantastic journey to a time when color was shades of black and white, the over-use of all things CG was unimaginable, movie posters were still something of an art. Not to lose out on the October-ly spirit however, this haunting journey back is a bit of a ghost tale. Do you believe in haunted houses, or won't you give them the ghost of a chance?
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Immerse yourself in the depths of VR! No, that's the wrong Oculus. Check out this eyeball shaped opening! Nope, still the wrong Oculus. Check out this spooky haunted item movie with shiny eyed ghosts who can make you see things! Yeah, now thats the Oculus! Will you come out of this one not believing your eyes, or wishing that you saw something else?
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People tell me that Megan Fox is a bad actress, that she's nothing but a pretty face. I honestly don't think she's that bad - I mean, surely no Kurt Russel, but leagues better than Kristen Stewart for sure - but the real test of how good an actor is would be in the breadth of roles they can play. That being said, I've been on a horror movie kick again recently, so tie in seeing how well she can do as a bad guy and the fact that (from the trailers) it's a sex-based monster while not actually having a lot of nude shots and you can color me interested. Granted, the questions always remains as to if the movie's goodness will be all my imagination, or if it's for a good time we should call.
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Arach·no·pho·bia: the pathological fear or loathing of spiders. Some people would have you believe that it's a fear without basis - and maybe they are right. I mean, it's not every single spider in existence that can cause death or even harm to a human, so the fear of a little tiny creature that springs on you from nowhere and builds nests to trap it's victims and suck them dry is totally irrational, right? If you haven't figured it out, I'm a tad bit arachnophobic - but I've been working at changing that slowly over the years through sheer willpower. Most people have an awesome story about why they have a fear of spiders, and yet mine is both weak and highly entertaining: I was taken to see this movie when I had no business in theaters. In that sense, it demonstrates the power of movies and the lasting ways they can affect us, and in turn I can't think of any other movie that would make more sense to do for my one hundredth review. Stick around and see if this movie is a web of lies, or if it puts the fear or spiders into you.
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The Thing, again! Surprisingly, although you would assume it from the name being the same as Carpenter's earlier version, this one is actually a prequel instead of a remake! Now we get to experience what happened to all those Norwegians at the hand of our creepy extraterrestrial friend. Granted, I'm gonna spin this a bit - we are gonna start this thing off with an approach where it's all it's own movie (as though you haven't seen the other Thing), and then get into how it ties into it afterwards. So what'll it be? The perfect copy, or just a cheap imitation.
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I'm a fan of Kurt Russell movies, and I'm relatively sure that part of the reason is because I enjoy him as an actor. Bigger then that, I believe a lot of the movies he's in are just highly entertaining in some way or another for me more so than just him being in it. The Thing is one of those films that's in my general go-to films for when I'm bored and inevitably comes up at least once a year. Obviously, I like it - but will it click for you? Will it have you looking at the people around you in a new light, or will it be a gooey dead mess?
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And it comes to this, the final part of the Heisei era of Godzilla. The promise of monster-a-monster battle, and something different about Godzilla draw us in to what we already expect to enjoy (being fans of our giant radioactive dinosaur friend). The defining film that takes it all the way back to the original Gojira, and wraps up the exodus of our monster king's story. Can the plot and characters bring this movie to the top, or will it be a complete meltdown from which we may never recover?
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Now we start getting into the parts of Godzilla that we all tend to love the most - the monster on monster action! The 1989 entry marks the first step of the Heisei series that involves Godzilla not being the only giant monster to stop around the block - although by far it's certainly not the first ever 'zilla flick to feature multiple monsters (just in this arc). Can the king of monsters hold his ground against the new threat? Will the movie harbor any improvements over Godzilla '85? Did I manage to get the non-Americanized version? Either you are gonna love this like a giant rose, or want nothing more than to burn it with your fiery breath.
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30 years later, the great lizard king returns in the "first" movie of the second Godzilla story arc - called the "Heisei Series." In modern times, we would probably call this a reboot - although its actually more of rebooting a sequel to start again as opposed to erasing the original and starting from scratch. Now, the reason I wanted to do this specific arc or story is because it seems to deal more with how/what Godzilla is, which seems like it very well might tie into the newer one a bit more solidly than some of the others do. Of course, the real question then becomes is it a good thing that it might be getting it's influence from here?
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The one that started it all, the very king of monsters himself: Godzilla (or as he was known before we Americans starting changing things - Gojira). At the time of writing this, we are about a month and a half away before the US Box office tries to recover from the horrendous attempt at making a Godzilla movie (it was actually worse than the classic guys-in-suits movies that came before it) with it's brand new Godzilla movie, I've decided that we need to span the timelines and get a feel for our nuclear lizard king. You'd be surprised to know it, but there are people out there who have never heard of Godzilla! Well, fear not denizens of Earth! I'll be your tour guide on this journey, and I won't let the giant creature eat you (unless you really deserve it).
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