Nine times out of ten, if someone tells me I should check out a movie, I get around to checking it out. Doesn't matter if I have no prior interest, knowledge, or obligations to watch it - it's just a matter of someone thought it was good, so it's probably worth seeing what I think of it. This has a perceived positive ratio of success, but admittedly if you count "meh" as a negative than it's probably just as often a fatal call on my end as it is positive - but I do it none-the-less. This rendition of the evils of artificial intelligence is brought to you buy that same morbid curiosity that drives me to watch anything someone says. The real question you should be asking is if the result is bowing down to our cyber-overlords or a robot that still can't seem to find it's balance.
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I'm not a big musical person. Most people who know me know that - and it's not just a matter of I auto-tune (ha ha, funny!) out when I go to them or whatever. No, I give them as fair a shot as any movie I would watch - it's just for whatever reason most of them don't end up being my thing. Some people just can't get enough singing in their lives though - I'm sure Glee's success is a testament to that. Will Horrors manage to satisfy their hunger, or turn out to be plant food?
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Remember when I mentioned back in Kingsman that it's been a while since I saw a spy flick that I really enjoyed? Well, I'd try and use the same setup for the whole under-ground art selling circuit movie, but I couldn't really think of any of them. I mean, my memory is bad yes, but totally drawing a null there - The closest I can come up with is Monuments Men, but that was more of a war-kind of flick then it was particularly a particular art-thief kind of flick. The closest thing I could think of with this installment of "Depp plays a weird character" was actually (maybe not so oddly) Mr. Bean. Is that a good thing? I guess that's a real mustache question.
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If you remember Tales from the Crypt, your a cool cat in my book. If you own it, then my hat's off to you and you have a brother in arms. As awesome as the show was, it never really had a very large movie scene - Two, with a third that mysteriously disappeared and I've never been able to find if it even does exist. Now, there's some stuff we kind of expect from the Crypt - but will the movie betray all that to patter to a larger crowd and draw everyone in? Will it be a cemetery that everyone is dying to get into, or simply just a bad joke?
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Remember back in the day when spy movies used to be all the rage? The gadgets, the suits, the girls? Well, I feel like there hasn't been any real gripping spy flicks out there- I mean, the new bond movies aren't bad or anything, but they don't seem to really call out to my movie-going self to keep coming back for more. Maybe it's the removal of some of that cheese? Well, considering I hadn't heard anything negative about this particular British flavored flick, let's all get our silly attempts at talking with accents out of the way and see if this little drink ends up being a martini on the rocks or just a glass of crudely flavored water.
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I find myself watching found footage movies as though one of these days the perfect one is going to happen around, and the entire world will realize how awesome they could be if done right. It's theoretically not something that should be that hard to do - and if anything building tension should be easier than through normal means, since it adds to the effect that the viewer is there (theoretically). It never seems to happen though, it always seems to somewhere go so terribly wrong - from either holding onto it's suspense for way too long, or pacing that's so dull you would rather go to sleep. Can this movie dig up some fun, or will it be destined to make your bones ache?
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The predator is probably one of my favorite alien creatures I've ever been privileged enough to learn of. Lean, mean, and out for the trophy heads of whatever creature proves to be a bad enough dude to merit it's attention - what's not to like about him? Pitch in that incredibly fun first run in the cinema universe against Arnold, and you really couldn't ask for much more - except an equally as fun sequel. Mayhaps you've read Concrete Jungle and are curious as to if the movie follows it's path? Can the second pitch handle the spotlight, or is it time for it to strike out?
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Action movies are awesome. I love them, a lot of other people love them. With the recent hullabaloo about Fury Road, I was having a bit of a retrospective about "best action movies" I've ever scene with a pal, and after a moment of revving up my remember-er, amongst the slew of things that came to mind there was one scene that happened to pop into my mind. That scene is contained within this movie, and became a bit famous after it's release for being one giant, continual take. Turn on the stove, it's time to get boiled.
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When I saw the first trailers for this movie, I thought to myself "Oh, looks like an unassociated redo of Short Circuit with a more humanoid robot." Of course, that's not a bad thing in my mind, so I filed it away on the "I should watch this when it comes out" list and here we are. Did it end up being a gangster Johnny 5? Does it stand on it's own two robotic legs? Is this the robot that you didn't want, but the robot you needed?
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So the first Sin City was pretty cool and fresh right? I mean, a couple of stories intertwined in a way - almost like the olden Horror anthology movies - with that Black and White palette with little splashes of color as it saw fit was pretty rad. So, now that it's been "done before," will it still hold up for the second time around?
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When I say Mortal Kombat, the first thing that pops to most peoples minds would be a series of 'wicked' violent fighting games that had super cool finishing moves and a dude that yells "GET OVER HERE!" Others may remember the string of movies that it had - you know, all two of them - and others still (like, maybe one person) might remember more still. Well, trip that nostalgia up, cause tonight's fine delicacy is best served with a basting of blo- wait a minute, pg-13? Did this movie just Finish itself before the fight even started?
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A super-thoughtful film? Don't do those very often do I? Well, I mean, sometimes you want to think, or sometimes you just hear good things about something and want to check it out. The general premise seems sound enough, and it's got a list of decent named actors involved, so I'd like to assume it's going to at least be an entertaining flick. At any rate, lets dive into this movie and see what the flock it's all about.
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Remember when you were super excited about the Lord of the RIngs? Remember when you slowly lost touch with The Hobbit? Well, this is the third one - the "defining chapter" if you will. The end of one tale begins the beginning of the next. Surely, with a title like The Battle of the Five Armies there will at least be more combat action than ever seen in Game of Thrones right? Well, let's delve into the furry footed thief story, and see if it re-inspires everyone to read, or if you will end up wishing there was only one movie trilogy in Middle-Earth.
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What's the most generic thing associated with ghosts? Give you a hint - beyond "haunting" it's most likely the title of this movie. Now, something like this could go great - could go horribly, horribly wrong as well. I mean, what better excuse to have some other-worldly activity that a board of letters that functions by most accounts as a ungodly portal into that which shouldn't be tampered with? What foul demons and lovable Caspers will be summoned from somebody's generically naive actions? Will the movie game with your emotions, or would you rather see it burnt for the horrible time you had viewing it?
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How many times now have we seen the story of Dracula? If I wanted to pan further, I could say 'how many times have we seen the story of the vampire?" And no, I don't mean that badly written worse filmed absent-minded Twilight series. If I wanted to induce vomiting, I would talk about the soundtrack to Nosferatu, which is at least a respectable movie. Back on topic though - we've seen it a lot. Most of us would probably agree at this point that the best rendition of Dracula is probably the Bram Stoker's variant, but Bella did have himself one mean stare. Well, a new age, a new generation, a new attempt at trying to bring back the old monster movies that I really can't be too mad about because I like the old monster movies. Should Dracula have staid untold, or will the movie nipping at your neck have you all hot and bothered?
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This is one of the movies that I feel me doing this for is pretty much a waste. I mean, let's face it, anyone who wants to see this movie has already seen this movie. At this point, the only reason anyone is going to read this is because they either want to know my opinion on something they've already seen, or because they've accidentally come here looking for Avengers 2 reviews. I guess just for my own ego, I'm going to pretend its the earlier reason and not the latter, but lets flash back and figure out if someone should be seeking to avenge this movie, or to avenge our wallets.
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Ever find yourself thinking that kids suck? Ever think that kids were so much better and more respectful back in the day? Do you have anyone you'd like to instill a fear of children into? Well, this movie may tarnish your views of the happy-go-lucky younger folks, as this movie slowly turns your views from cute little spunky shenanigans into a weaponized militia of punks. Can this blast to the past show you a good time, or will you find your brain a battleground of chaos?
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Remember that silent guy named Bob? If you do, then you probably already know all about him making movies and being in shows and the likes. This weird little tale comes straight from him - and if you follow his podcast you will most likely get more out of this than those who blindly waddle their way into it, but that's not to say that it's necessarily bad right? Inside jokes are all over movies these days (I'm looking at you, comic movies), so that shouldn't hold anyone back. Will this walrus of a tale get you hooked, or will it be more of a sinker?
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Wold War 2: a very bummer of an event, but great fodder for the entertainment industry. Granted, the last time I saw Brad Pitt in a WW2 movie he was scalping Nazis with the "Bear Jew" - so I expected this one to be a bit more "true" feeling. Most flicks about the 'great war' are at least half-way decent as far as quality, so lets see how one focusing on a tank crew can do. Will it tank our interest?
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I read somewhere this was an interesting movie, what I hadn't read was that it was actually a foreign film. Got nothing against foreign films personally, so that wasn't going to deter me, but before I even started the movie I already expect some people are going to tune this one out - why? Because you either don't understand German, or English dubbing that doesn't always sync with the mouth movements of German words is gonna bug someone. That aside, you can tell by the title along that this movie is going to contain at least double the running of something like Running Man, but the question remains: will your soles burn from the speed, or will the plot leave your mind racing crazy?
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