In space, everyone can read your opinions.
I’ve seen the entire franchise. I’ve seen multiple entries numerous times. I’ve had numerous occasions in which to do this review and on this day I ask myself one question - again? How are there so many of these that I could swear I’ve done but I haven’t actually done? Will there ever be an end to it? Tonight we’ll look into why you probably should have listened to old Ralph when venturing out to Crystal Lake - tonight we go to the original Friday the 13th.
Read MoreLet’s stick with some action and add in some comedy. We go from a space-based budget to a comic-based modern “budget” A-team. This easily ties into the group of “haven’t I done this before” that seems to crop up ever so often this year, so it feels like a return to all around enjoyment! Well, I suppose enjoyment is a subjective term in this instance, but let’s find out if with the selection of tonight we find ourselves the winners or The Losers.
Read MoreGuess what’s short and has a horrible critic rating? Tonight’s movie! Yay, lets get some fart-fests in this bean-filled world of movies! I mean, I’ve been watching some pretty good to mediocre movies for a while, so it almost feels like I’ve been avoiding them instead of getting lucky, so maybe we can fix that. Now, don’t get me wrong - it can be bad as long as it’s enjoyable and I’ll be fine with it - but when you’ve got a failing by school grade rating from the common folk and a less than four percent critical rating, I expect I might hit issues. Either way, strap in and see how bad it is, tonight is Cosmic Sin.
Read MoreHere’s something I haven’t done in a good while - a movie that’s still “in theaters’ at the moment of the Thursday ritual. Yes, I nailed it as a rental from home, because i have a projector and crap and largely don’t want to be bothered with adding a step of “going somewhere else” on a review day (probably a sort of obvious fact, but I watch all these things immediately before posting them, unless I know there’s something that’s going to keep me from getting them out on time before hand). I strayed away from it for a while, because I used the Quick Flick format for it - but tonight, we want the spices of life. A zesty meal. A hearty serving of movie based on game based on other game. We want so many levels of werewolves that are brain is itching beneath the veritably village of hair it’s grown while the moon was out. Tonight, we hope our neighbors are good to us - it’s time for Werewolves Within.
Read MoreFrom the depths of the sea to the shallows of the plains. Tonight we settle for a western, but not just a normal everyday western - nah, that would be too easy. Tonight we ride into a pack of monsters that share the screen with the horrors of man. On this night, we pray for the sun - tonight we await The Burrowers.
Read MoreJust ahead of everyone’s favorite aquatic calendar week I return with the promised movie from the deep. The one not expected, born from one that wasn’t necessary. The one looking to regain the respect for a franchise that fell over in the mud during a critical play and caused dozens to crash. Yes, it’s blue, it’s deep, it’s the sea - tonight we check out Deep Blue Sea 3 and ask the age old question - can we recover from the nonsense of the last one?
Read MoreI no more than week ago learned of the existence of sequel to a shark movie that had already gotten another sequel that it didn’t need - and I was intrigued enough to think about watching it. “Before I watch that,” I had thought to myself, “I should watch that one I saw trailers and reviews for that looked like it was way up my alley.” For once, I listened to that little though, and before you get thrown into the deep end, let’s go to a different idea altogether. Did you ever wish Power Rangers was more violent and about the bad guys? Well do I have a treat for you, set your dinner aside and put on your effects-appreciation ponchos, tonight we have a look at Psycho Goreman.
Read MoreI’ve had this on the radar for a while, but in typical fashion I end up going every which way but loose and it takes me far longer to actually sit down and watch it then it probably should have. The initial trailer sold me on the movie pretty quick - Jackie Chan and a old Brit looking Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I don’t care what it’s about or who else is in it, if they had a budget or if I need to read it - I’m in. Whatever you do, mask yourself from the review score, tonight we check out - and I’m going to be real, the other countries have a way cooler title with Mystery of the Dragon Seal, but what I have to work with is - Iron Mask.
Read MoreI’m an honest person - I had something else in mind for tonight. I got as far as buying the movie I was going to use for tonight - but then a friend pointed out something was on Netflix, and I realized my only true option was to do that instead. Why, you ask? Because I thought I already had done it, and if nothing else that feels like the motto for my choices lately. Just how many movies have I had Déjà vu for lately when it comes to these things? Well, a lot, and now it’s one more. This might seem like where going nowhere slowly, but tonight we look at Streets of Fire.
Read MoreSummer is here, and the heat’s come with it. It’s a bit early to be the 36 year anniversary mark, but I got to thinking about swimming pools the other day. Ask someone from my generation about swimming pools, and they’ll tell you about pools aren’t safe from impossibly large sharks. That’s right, another “how has he not done this” review, one that nobody even needs to read or hear because I don’t think there’s a person whose not seen it or heard of it. There’s blood in the water so you better scream shark! Tonight we look at Jaws.
Read MoreMany across the lands are celebrating as they get closer and closer to a return to normalcy after their routines were abruptly changed by a sudden pandemic. It’s a happy time for most - and yet here I am, trying to summon forth the ability to continue working via remote at my job to save money by rolling the dice - or rather plugging in the game. We were here once, it’s time to go back. Doesn’t matter if we end up the fat guy, the short guy, the karate gal or the one who smoulders - tonight drop-in co-op is back on the menu. Tonight, we’re player number one in Jumanji: The Next Level.
Read MoreWith all the stars in space, one could really wonder what’s out there when there’s so much possibility in even our small little community of constellations. Travel through space has been a bit of a restrictive element though - between travel speeds, building costs, and just general human knowledge - so you can’t help but have imaginations run wild with what-ifs and how-abouts. What if teleportation was a thing? What if you could hop on some galactic light-way that would zip you about faster than light? What if you could just transfer your mind from one shell to another? If such technology did exist, who would make or how did they do it? Well, in tonight’s example, we delve a bit into some ancient aliens - tonight, we slip through the Stargate.
Read MoreDo you like comic book movies? Do you like horror elements and comedy running into each other? Are you into really hairy dudes? Well, it’s time to test how well you can keep your getting offended in check, as tonight we found ourselves quite the little gem. Now, I’m not saying this movie is super offensive - but I would put money down on the fact that someone somewhere will get offended by it. It probably won’t be the rednecks - they’ll be too busy laughing about it. Enough prattling, grab a bear and your man’s best friend, it’s time to check out Bubba the Redneck Werewolf.
Read MoreThe Era of Vampires - or Tsui Hark's Vampire Hunters as it is also known - is tonight’s plate of cinematic entree. A new seasons of Castlevania drops today, so I thought it might be a good way to get that vampire-desiring heart pumping for vampire-hunting related content. It’s also something that’s been sitting on my to watch list for a hot minute, and I figured it would be good to get around to it before it wasn’t available without needing to be payed for. Mixing that old-school Chinese martial arts movie with the horror of vampires could make for an interesting main course, so check your romanticized image of sparkly toothy boys at the door and plug in for a different breed.
Read MoreSaw another Nic Cage movie today. Figured hey, why not? Surely, with a name like Kill Chain it would have plenty of action in it, and I feel like some good action that I haven’t already done and is readily accessible without needing to drop a bunch of money for it. Now, let’s be honest - it’s a Nic Cage movie. He’s been in some good stuff, but just as many if not more not-so-good things. Set out expectations to low and save some budget for a few shootouts, tonight we look at Kill Chain.
Read MoreI do a lot of remakes. It’s not really a revelation or anything, and I’m sure I do them for similar reasons to a lot of people that go and watch remakes - they are interested in seeing what’s all different. Is it better? Will nostalgia have to carry it? Did they make any sensible changes to update it to the modern time? Is it just an easy cash grab that’s going to be horrible in every way? Sometimes you it should be so easy to make a decent modern adaptation that you could consider it Child’s Play.
Read MoreHey, I found the movie I was going to do last week before getting distracted! Get pumped for a rival franchise movie coming out this week by watching a different fighting game movie! Look, the video game is a weird soap opera of things - and I’ve only played one of the things, so I can’t much speak for it, but I do know one thing it’ll probably deliver on: fights. Pump those muscles and try not to bust a vein from the strain, tonight we jump-kick into Tekken.
Read MoreDid you know they made a sequel to the reboot of Clash of the Titans? I didn’t. Well, I tell you what, we’ll do that tonight! Originally I had though I should try and find some Mortal Kombat-adjacent movie to get people hyped for the release of the new one next week, but instead I found a movie about part gods fighting big ole monsters. Close enough right? Harness you Pegasus and polish your armor, tonight I’m watching Wrath of the Titans.
Read MoreI had to get a subscription to HBO max so I could check out the new Godzilla movie without leaving my house, so I’ve been ransacking their stores of movies while the subscription is active. As I scrolled through, I found a movie that I haven’t seen in forever that I remember being fun. I know it had a few effects in there, and to be honest I’m wondering how well they will age. Get ready for a rivalry between two women to get mystical, we are going to look at Death Becomes Her.
Read MoreJust when you thought it was safe to exist, I pull a fast one on you and find another movie about giant monkeys. Sure, the new Godzilla movie is out - but I can’t do that one, because it’s way too soon to be putting it out there in any sort of detail other than “I like it” - but that’s okay, I found another movie that I thought I did that I hadn’t done that also involves a giant lizard and a giant monkey doing battle for at least a little while. Grab you cups for the Dwayne Johnson drinking game, tonight the city suffers a Rampage.
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