In space, everyone can read your opinions.
Jason, Freddy, Myers. We All Need Someone To Look Up To.
Tomorrow, at the time of writing this, is a Friday the 13th - and in October at that! Obviously there’s only one option as to what I could possibly watch. Only one slasher movie that could possibly be appropriate. Yeah that’s right, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon! That dear folks, is what we call a misdirection!
Read MoreDon't rush, die slow.
Ever wonder what would happen if you replaced a slasher villain with a small unassuming animal that nobody ever would have thought a killer? Well, someone did. Not only did someone think that, they actually made a movie around it - and they had quite a sense of humor about it. Some might expect a pretty slow burn out of this one, but the most worrying thing to anyone normally interested in the kind of movie this pitches is the PG-13 rating. Tonight, we move slow because slow is smooth and smooth is fast, tonight we visit Slotherhouse.
Read MoreThe year is 1962. The place is Willowpoint Falls. Nobody talks about what happened in the school cloakroom 10 years ago. Now, in the dead of night, Frankie Scarlatti is going to find out why.
October is right around the corner - which usually means free reign for me to just pick the filthiest, scariest, or most monstrous cinema i can find and use the season as an excuse to force the sort of stuff i would normally watch into the universe. Surprisingly enough though, this one isn’t on me - this one was a request that got fast tracked somewhat from the back log on account of it’s requester being the only person besides myself to make it to movie night - can’t win if you don’t show up right? Going into this, all i really took the time to see was “ah yes, ghost story” and didn’t even really find out more than that because it’s all i needed to decide to watch it - that and the fact that I recognize the title from something, be it another movie or an urban legend or something. Well, buckle in for one heck of a ride as tonight we catch a glimpse of the Lady in White.
Read MoreIt’s Craazzy!
Deja vu night - thought I did this already, but all signs point towards I have not. Got some pals to “grace’ with it’s presence as well, so why not? It’s all laughs under the space big top anyways even if folks don’t always have the same sense of cinema enjoyment that I do. Get your big foots and your balloon dogs - tonight we stop clowning around with Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
Read MoreThis one isn’t clowning around.
When I’m left to coming up with my own tagline for a movie, you know it’s going to be so much more dumb than what they could have just come up with themselves. I was left to my own devices again, so you know what that ends up meaning - back to a horror movie! Don’t get me wrong, I love action and all that sort of stuff, but there’s something to the face level simplicity of a horror movie - especially an initial entry type of horror movie - that lets me just have a fun time. Maybe it’s the body count? Gear up for the least clown looking clown killer you’ve ever seen, tonight we watch Killer Book Club.
Read MoreSucks to be him
Remember that backlog I’ve been getting too? Well, made the mistake of playing some Dead by Daylight the other night - mainly because they added the Alien into it, but also it has Nicolas Cage in there now. Only reasonable thing to do after watching him run around screaming out lines is watch a movie with him in it - thus bringing us to now. Comedy horror makes it more palatable to folks beyond me, and Cage means we’ll be in for fun. Sharpen your fangs and close the shades, tonight we check out Renfield.
Read MoreAN ALIEN WAR OF GOOD vs. EVIL
I did the second try at this movie a while back, but this time it’s to the original American attempt. There’s a long history of movie adaptations just not working well - part of it is probably the constant ask that a movie (something that’s generally pretty costly) make the maximum amount of money back, which leads to a lot of “generalizing” in order to cast as wide a net as possible to capture potential movie ticket buyers. This leads to a lot of things like “dumbing down” plots or combining or changing characters, all that sort of thing. Considering you can spend about an hour searching and not find this movie streaming anymore, I think we are pretty well aware of how this one lies with the majority of folks. Get ready to blast into the past of adapting Japanese things to a non-Japanese audience, tonight we look at The Guyver.
Read MoreA new evil has taken residence.
I’ve got a game thing coming up here in a couple weeks, so I thought I’d reign tonight’s movie in to a newer game-related movie I’ve been looking forward to. What is it? Well, it ties into a franchise that at this point I can successfully say I’ve played (and am not necessarily great at) a solid chunk of the games in - at the very least all the main-line ones. The fun part is that this one also fits into the continuity of all those games, and references parts here and there. It should be a good time since I’ve enjoyed every one of the animated takes in the franchise more than the live action ones - so it’s time to see what happens when the boulder puncher makes his way to the rock - tonight is Resident Evil: Death Island.
Read MoreA break from the trend as of late, tonight we check out a movie that isn’t new to me but is new to somebody that I made watch it tonight. We get some science fiction mixed into our car movies, with some classic spooky sauce to top it all off. I will say that this movie is as old as me, so there might be some stuff that won’t hold up as good - but the only real way to find out is to watch, so put on your helmet, tonight is The Wraith.
Read MoreA notorious criminal must break an evil curse
If you thought it felt like maybe lately I just haven’t been inspired enough in my reviews, I’ve got a treat for you tonight as I steadily work towards clearing out my backlog of “Movies I added to a list of things I need to see and haven’t gotten to yet.” This one might be a contender for one that’s spent the longest on that list - and in all honesty for no good reason. It has Nicolas Cage in it - I know one way or the other I’m in for a good time if he’s in it. Still, excuses aside we are going to rock and roll - and hopefully you have an attention span and don’t get stuck on the details, or you might just join the Prisoners of the Ghostland.
Read MoreSome families have secrets
Time to clear another one off the backlog. I don’t feel this one is particularly “back” back log, given that it’s relatively newer compared to a bunch of the stuff that’s on the list - but either way it’s one of the movie on my “get around to watching it list” and I didn’t really feel up to a longer, hard thought movie or artsy fartsy movie. Tonight, we go back to some monstrous creature feature that gets added to the list of movies that have an axolotl in them for one reason or another - tonight, w find what lurks in The Tank.
Read MoreNew York. New Rules.
New entry of a series I’ve seen all the rest of? Well, I have to look at it don’t I? Would be a shame to not make more of something that I already like. Well first-pass guesses be the winners, or will we find out that we’ve lost the touch. Is it really we lost the touch, or did the movie just get better at freaking us out? Blend your numbers into your words, tonight we all Scream 6.
Read MoreAn original animated feature so exciting its scratching at the the door!
I found out about tonight’s movie by accident a while ago, then as I promptly do when I don’t write things down I forgot about it. When tasked with viewing pals to declare what we were going to watch tonight, I had a sudden idea that I pitched. It’s a pretty easy sale really, considering at least two of us grew up watching these shows - nostalgia is always an easy in for enjoyment. Gather up your bravery then readers, tonight we check out the utter mouthful of childhood that is Straight Outta Nowhere: Scooby-Doo! Meets Courage the Cowardly Dog.
Read MoreA monster will rise
Felt like a monster movie tonight, and I happen to have one on my backlog that I had heard from somewhere that I don’t remember. Funnily enough I had re-watched the 2014 Godzilla just last night, so it seems like I’m just in the mood for some big old stompy boys. Given the choke-hold that the big G has on the market, I thought we’d swing on down to Taiwan for a bit - so don’t blame me for not saying names and mispronouncing everything I do try - tonight we go to The Lake.
Read MoreEvery Heart Tells a Tale
I thought about doing a horror movie tonight, but opted instead to go with a mystery flick. Granted, I could have saved a half an hour by doing a horror movie - but sometimes long doesn’t mean taxing, and there’s mild hope that a little extra runtime will help the mystery element develop to it’s maximum intrigue. Anyways, to be perfectly honest, I misread the description and though this was supposed to be some alternate fantasy world where Sherlock Holmes teams up with Edgar Allen Poe to solve a murder, but quickly realized it’s just some guy like Sherlock teaming up with Poe to solve a mystery - so why don’t we sit down and find out the mystery of The Pale Blue Eye.
Read MoreWhen the last angel falls, the fight for mankind begins.
I’m merciless with some of the tie-in stuff I do when it comes to logical steps in my thought chains. You see, one of my side gigs - really a hobby with slightly more effort invested - is charity streaming on my YouTube channel raising funds for a little outfit known as Extra Life - effectively raising money for Children’s Hospitals. For this year, I decide the theme was going to be horde games- you know, those cookie cutter games where you fight your way to an objective and then hold out against incredibly odds until you need to go to the next objective? Well, where all this ties in to tonight’s movie is really at the concept of that - get to an objective and survive the waves. Tonight things get slightly biblical at the apt named diner, tonight we are introduced to Legion.
Read MoreMakes the tummy tingle.
It’s been a while since I’ve watched a stop motion animated movie. Indeed, you barely see them come out these days - people have largely all moved on to the slightly less time-intensive forms of animation like computers. I don’t blame them, it’s a bit of an underrated art form in my book. Still, that does make it easy to peak my interest whenever I do see one come out, and honestly that’s pretty much all it needs right there. Tonight we get some Key and Peele smooth as clay, but let’s see how it will play out in Wendell & Wilde.
Read MoreThis year spring break is cut short.
Alright, it’s that holiday where you spend time eating food and being thankful with your family. Well, it’s also a movie night, so great minds do what great minds do when pinched for time - they choose a movie they’ve already watched a ton and never did a review for, so they can review while they watch and watch while they review! Thematically this little horror comedy actually does fit kind of nicely with the idea of being thankful, as well as a whole lot of misunderstanding - so grab some of that pie and strap in for Tucker & Dale vs Evil.
Read MoreHalloween comes to life
Yes, October is over and this is a Halloween movie. If I’m being real, I just didn’t get around to watching this movie until today - it happens sometimes - and I spent a little too much free time tonight watching documentaries so this ended up being the best option to do unless I wanted to be up extra late writing up a review. We’ll be back to your regularly scheduled programing later on - I found a stop motion flick I’d like to check out, a sequel I didn’t know existed or was asked for, and at some point I should really rip through the Wick franchise on here - but for tonight, just bear with me. Let’s all settle in with the family and the pots of popcorn as we discover The Curse of Bridge Hollow.
Read MoreYou think you know the story.
The time has come! That’s right, I’ve refused to do this one as a long format for years - in fact, it’s the reason i created the shorter quick-flick format that I’ve used for newer movies. Well, tonight we are going to flip that out in celebration of me just wanting to watch it again - it’s been long enough without me doing it that I don’t think we have to really hold back about it anymore, so grab you extendable thermos and prepare - tonight we visit The Cabin in the Woods.
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