I am a Trekkie, not a Trekker or whatever the hell they call themselves now, I am a Trekkie. If there was a Trek convention happening near me and I wasn’t a broke white boy I would go in full costume. So this is going to be a fairly involved review. I apologize. I started this review a while ago and stopped when I was at two pages (just movie not including intro) and we hadn’t gotten past the twenty minute mark in the movie. I realized that no one wanted to read that. (If you want the full nerd rants please leave a request in the comments and if I get five, I will finish and post the full Trekkie nerd rant.) Also, I am not doing the spoilers section. I honestly cannot figure out where to put it, you should watch the movie first, and since this review pulls in 6 TV shows and 10 movies, it seems a moot point. So here I intend to review as both a movie, and hit on the major things that bother me as a fan of Star Trek.
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I have a love hate relationship with number 2 movies. They are the middle ground, the space-filler, and tend to be the redheaded stepchild of the trilogy. Most of the time their only purpose is to build you up to the fight at the end of the third movie, usually resulting in a cliffhanger. This isn't to say that I don't like the middle of the trilogy, The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite Star Wars movie, but I also like resolution and character arc's. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest bored the life out of me and the third movie failed to make the wait worth it. And it would require an entire article and then some to cover my hatred for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (and will at some point).
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It seems to me that comic book movies should be easy to make. Aside from the latex costumes, the people are already drawn for you, all the designs are laid out in pictures, there is usually 30 years of stories to choose from, and if you watch Sin City you know that cell-by-cell adaptations can work really well. So why do most comic book movies fall short of the fans expectations? The Fox X-Men and Fantastic Four movies felt flat to me, the DC comic movies yo-yo all over the place and always fail to show the heroes at their best. In 2004, Marvel Comics announced that they would be producing their own movies from there own production studio. Part of me was excited, Marvel doing the movies there way, not someone else's. Gotta be good right? But what if we just get more of the same? I've already accepted I will never get the Avengers movie I wanted (boy was I wrong), so why should I even bother watching anymore?
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Oh Dune, this is one of those movies where all the pieces are there and they just do not come together properly. It is full of talent with David Lynch directing and full of stars like Brad Dourif, Patrick Stewart, Virginia Madsen, Dean Stockwell, and the list goes on! There are some beautiful sets, as well as some ugly ones (personally hate the Emperor's golden everything when it is described as jade). For its day the special effects were pretty good, and the scope was pretty epic for movies that were coming out at that time. So why did it fail? Why does it sometimes leave me wondering if the people making this movie read the same book I just did?
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At the start of this flick we find out that the pyramids were built by aliens to house humanities last hope against... something. Fast forward from the 20th century to the 23rd and the aliens are coming back to protect humanity when they are attacked and the weapon stolen. Well add some science and cgi to the mix and they bring to life Milla Jovovich who can't speak a word of English. She escapes and runs into Korban Dallas, or as he refers to himself as a meat popsicle. Played by none other than Bruce Willis, Korban is an ex military black ops, recently divorced, smoking, one liner popping hero. Some might see it as cliche, but we all know it equals pure AWESOME.
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